me:(out shopping, looking all fly with my Marvel comics tote bag featuring several characters)
me:thanks. (keeps on shopping)
dude:do you even know who all those characters are?
dude:ok then, who's that guy? (points at a character on the bag)
me:wait, are you asking me to prove that I'm enough of a fan enough to carry this bag?
dude:(smirks) that's what I thought. He's called the Silver Surfer. I bet you don't even know his real name.
me:does it matter? (starts to edge away before I start punching throats)
dude:psh, you're not a real fan.
me:(slowly unsheathing my Wolverine claws)
me:how many pairs of chromosomes do humans contain in their cells?
me:explain the function of cellular mitosis?
me:what is the purpose of myelin sheath with regards to the formation of new neural pathways?
dude:what are you even talking about?
me:oh, well it seemed that you were implying that if I don't know as much about the Marvel universe as you do, then I can't possibly be considered a real fan. This is me implying that because you don't know as much about the human body as I do, you can't possibly be considered a real human being.
dude:Um, I... wow. You're right. Have a nice day. (starts to shuffle away)
BREAKING: September 9th will be officially an entire month since the murder of Ferguson African-American unarmed teenage Michael Brown, at the hands of racist Ferguson PD Officer Darren Wilson. In this entire month, Officer Darren Wilson hasn't been heard from, he has literally disappeared. He still has not been arrested, charged, or indicted in the murder of Michael Brown.
I just wanted to understand what exactly makes you think your hypocrisy and racism is justified. You say whites are "privileged" but really the're the same if not worse off than you in terms of life. For example if a white man says the n word he could get arrested for using a racial slur. But if a black man or any other race for that matter called me a "cracker" he`d get off scott free. I've seen your previous posts on the internetaristocrat`s video. so please go ahead and ignore the irish.
"If a white man says the n word he could get arrested."
Hi Dan - Community is my favorite television show and Grantland is one of my favorite websites, so when Grantland posted an article about you today I read it. And also the article Alex Pappademas wrote about you a while ago, I read all of its words. I think I am like you, I am the most brilliant amazing person I know. And also an egomaniac asshole. But I'm only 21 years old. What advice do you have for a 21 year old version of yourself?
Skip the cocaine. Best case scenario, you become a bad person for a half hour and then need more coke; worst case, you end up homeless or dead.
Don’t judge things that make you jealous and don’t lie about the jealousy. Just say you wish you had something and figure out if there’s a way to get it.
Good writers hate bad writing but hating bad writing doesn’t make you good. Writing badly does.
Luck and talent are the same thing, and neither of them have anything to do with your value as a human being.
When someone gives you a compliment, and you tell them they’re wrong, you’re not being humble, you’re being rude.
People attempting to prove you’re a bad person will shut up if you admit it, and they’ll leave you alone if you ask them to help you be better.
You’re going to marry Erin McGathy so try to be up front about that with all the women you date for the next 27 years.
You can’t control the outcome of your actions, so make your actions fulfilling. That way, if the outcome is shit, you weren’t a total sucker.
Brush your teeth at night and cut down on the carbs. Gawker and TMZ don’t scour the archives for your only hot photo.